Previous generations had a straightforward view on how life should run. ‘First comes Love, then comes Marriage, then comes Baby in a Golden Carriage’ as the rhyme goes. But, even when this was the aspiration historically, underneath many family facades, this approach to life didn’t always equal happiness. Here at The Boho Bride Guide I wanted to dedicate some time today to talking about this unwritten rule, that many couples currently planning their wedding feel an underlying pressure to follow.
The overwhelming response, was a feeling of massive guilt amongst brides. A feeling that they couldn’t speak out and be honest, about how gutted they are for having to postpone their wedding due to the global pandemic. When people were losing their lives and loved ones, they felt they couldn’t share how gutted and upset they were about having to delay their wedding celebrations. There were a number of reasons surrounding this feeling of distress, but one that stood out from the rest. This feeling was that they had to put their aspiration to become parents on hold until they tied the knot.
Flex Your 5 Year Plan
Now, having become a parent myself in the last few years, I cannot imagine how couples out there must be feeling right now that also want to follow that same journey. If they had their ‘5 year plan’ all set out before COVID; getting married this year, having a big blow out honeymoon and seeing the world a little more, and then looking to start their parenting journey following that. To then be faced with a world health crisis, lockdown, a wedding postponement and the reality of coming to terms with the fact you think you also need to delay your parent journey, must be a massive feeling of overwhelm.
If you are anything like me, the thought of flexing my 5 year plan fills me with absolute dread and instantly makes me feel out of control. But in these unprecedented (there’s that word again!) times, we need to take a pause and do some work around releasing the self inflicted pressure that we put on ourselves. And look at where we can make changes, and in some cases compromises, that will in the long term still achieve your long term plans. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always happen the way we envisaged it to, and we can’t plan everything all the time. And that’s totally ok!
Don’t Put Your Family Planning Off
If you are looking to start a family in the near future, and were waiting to get married first, there is one thing I want you to take away from reading this. That is, there is no right or wrong when it comes to living your own life. Plans do change and if you and your partner feel ready to start your own family, in whatever guise that takes, then don’t delay on the premise that you think you “should” get married first. There are so many unknowns in life, especially whilst we are still dealing with Covid, and ESPECIALLY in the family planning arena.
My Parent Journey
For people that know me, they will relate to how much of a planner I am and how I am really driven by goals to reach and timescales to achieve within. I have always had a 5 year plan right from school age, and on the whole with a little flex, accomplished my life goals. This was until I then wanted to start a family with my hubby at the age of 28. This age was what I had always had in my head, I had reached a place in my career I wanted to get to, I had travelled the world as I had dreamed of, and we lived in our gorgeous home that was perfect for starting a family in. All my ducks were in a row and now I wanted to click my fingers and for our baby to arrive on schedule too! I very naively assumed that I would come off the pill and a couple of months later, I would fall pregnant and have my baby 9 months later with no issues what so ever.
Oh how wrong I was. Each month we were trying, I would be hopeful that ‘this is the month!’, with it only to hit me in the face that we weren’t pregnant and for us to wait another month to see if it would happen then. 6 months past, and then a year, with no joy, and I cannot believe quite how this journey massively impacted my mental health and wellbeing. It was the first time in my life that the one thing I wanted in my life, I couldn’t get for myself. I started experiencing panic attacks for the first time in my life and sleep issues and the whole baby making process became so so upsetting, on top of what was a busy and stressful life I led in the corporate world and developing houses with my hubby. We had said to ourselves in the Summer of 2017 if we hadn’t got pregnant by Christmas, we would begin the journey of seeking help with fertility. But after 2 years of trying and being off sick from work for a significant period of time, we were delighted to finally be pregnant in the September of 2017. And our beautiful first boy Parker was born in the following May.
So, at no point do I think that everyone will have the issues we have been through, and many of you reading this will have no problem at all when you decide the time is right for you to start a family. But for the 1 in 7 couples in the UK that will experience fertility problems, and of that 25% of fertility problems left unexplained (NHS website). The situation you currently find yourself in with holding out to starting a family due to your wedding being postponed is definitely worth re-thinking.
Take control of what you can control and do what is right for you both in this new Covid world. Whether you are pregnant when your new wedding date comes around, or whether you have a new member of the family to join in on your wedding photos. Either way you will create your own version of a perfect wedding day, and think of the stunning photos with your new family addition!
However your wedding day pans out, you will be able to declare the love you have for one another in front of friends and family, and celebrate in style surrounded by oodles of love, laughter and maybe even a new little life will come a join the party.
Shoot Photography to Bethan at @florirosaphotography
Other Images: Unsplash
With a delicious colour palette of autumnal earthy oranges, yellows and peaches, this delightful seasonal shoot is full of dreamy boho and rustic styles.
If you have had to make the tough decision to postpone your big day or reduce your guest numbers to still hold your wedding this year during this beautiful season. Or whether you are looking forward to your planned Autumn wedding next year, enjoy every minute of this enchanted editorial and get lost in its magic. Its a goodie!!
Always taking inspiration from the wild beauty of nature, the styling of this shoot at Westcott Barton were wonderfully inspiring for Gayle from Bee Lavish. “I found it allowed for a blend of styles and several different items for accessories and jewellery.
The bridesmaid wore gold jewellery that held a dark rich green moss agate pendant, tying into the deep green foliage, and her petite hair comb featuring ferns with tiny labradorite gems and pearls.
The Bride wore a bespoke gold and pearl necklace, with boho style fern hoop earrings, which mirrored the pearls and labradorite gems”.
Gayle from Bee Lavish is an artisan jewellery maker based in Devon, UK. Gayle specialises in hand making luxurious petite porcelain & jewellery, with all her designers having a strong connection with nature and the great outdoors, perfect if you are looking for unique pieces to accompany your wedding day look.
Whilst in the Orangery the glass of sparkling chandeliers nestled elegantly in the midst of their natural grape vine foliage leading the eye down to the feast of glorious colours of the sharing platters by Jax’s Cakes n Bakes, and the delicious, mouth-watering rustic themed Wedding Cake.
Jax started her business in 2014 creating bespoke celebration cakes and then later expanded to offer full catering services. Jackie takes pride in cooking the food herself and then has a team of fabulous waiting staff to serve you and your guests every need.
The Fizzy Pheasant is a bar hire company rooted in the North Devon countryside and celebrating rural life, "the changing seasons are always incredibly inspiring for us. Being part of the 'Autumn Love' shoot, was an amazing opportunity to showcase our shaker bar in a beautiful barn setting, as well as to make some delicious cocktails with seasonal flavours and ingredients.
The South West Team
Venue - @westcott_barton
Photographer - Laura from @freeformimage.co.uk
Dresses - @alwaysandforeverdevon
Make up - Rachel from @isabellegracemakeupartistry
Bridal Hair - Carly from @verakweddinghair
Flower Crown – Hannah from @fusspotts.co.uk
Bridal Accessories & Jewellery - Gayle from @bee.lavish
Stationery - Emma from @emma.louise.castle
Celebrant - Nixie from @unique_ceremonies
Floristry - Hannah from @fusspotts.co.uk
Cake & Catering - Jax from @jax_cakes_n_bakes
Grooms Attire -Jessica from @suaveowl
Rings - Erin & Janie from @moltenweddingringco
Styling - Katie from @bestdayeverdevon
Macramé - Jill from @KnotAgainJill
Bar - Jade & Nick from @thefizzypheasant
Models - Megan Louise @poppysflower3
(Facebook) Shane Maddock & Cat Richards-Kastelic
Great work everyone!
Now when we talk ‘boho inspired’ weddings, the scenery wouldn’t be complete without a macramé installation or 2! and Paulina from P.Line.Art did not disappoint! Look at this stunning full length ceremony macramé backdrop that effortlessly creates a tranquil space to declare your love for one another in front of close family and friends.
Kirsty from Escential Blooms worked her magic to create an organic mixed greenery and floral runner to decorate the celebration table to accent the earthy and organic colour palette styling. The bridal bouquet was big and bountiful and followed on the bohemian, free spirited theme using Ruscus and Eucalyptus as the greenery backdrop, then filled full of Roses, Spray Roses, Chrysanthemum Blooms, Pampas Grass and Opuntia Microdasys (Bunny Ears), all tied together with an uber stylish macramé wrap created by Paulina from P.Line.Art.
The bride wore a gorgeous reloved bridal dress from Tavistock Bridal Reloved. Bridal Reloved is the world’s only chain of award winning bridal boutiques specialising in sample and pre-owned high end designer wedding dresses. Buying a reloved dress for your big day is now easier than ever and a great opportunity for ‘bride’s to be’ to drop the environmental impact dramatically. As one wedding dress uses on average 9000 litres of water to make, buying from a Bridal Reloved Boutique, you are not only getting a massive selection of luxury wedding dress brands, you are reducing your impact on the planet. Go and visit Kate, owner of Tavistock Bridal Reloved to find out more today.
Gemma, a qualified patisserie chef and owner of White Peony Cake Company created a wedding cake of autumnal dreams. Each of the 4 tiers varied in depth to give a sense of grandeur, finished off with a burnt orange ombre sugar paste finish and metallic detailing, all stood proudly on a geometric metal frame. And what about those sugar flowers!! Stunning!! Each petal was individually crafted to perfection to create those sensational blooms that complete this edible delight, and to top it off the sugar flowers can be kept as a keepsakefrom your big day. The beautifully hand painted acrylic Mr and Mrs sign made was designed and created by Scarlet from Scarlet Jade Designs, as well as the welcome signage and wedding stationery, all of which, accents the tones of the wedding colour palette perfectly.
The groom looks sensational in his bespoke 3 piece made to measure suit from Zebel Bespoke in Exeter. Zebel Bespoke prides themselves on refining the bespoke tailoring experience for ‘grooms to be’, and offers packages to streamline the suit purchase selection. Their service only requires two appointments, the initial measurement and the second and final fitting to ensure you are happy with the feel of your garments. You then have a perfectly personalised suit to your exacting requirements to enjoy on your wedding day and beyond.
The Fun Bus
Now it’s time for the fun to begin!! Introducing Rosie a classic cream and lipstick red 1970’s Bay VW Campervan, ready to serve your every party need! Rosie's interior has been transformed into a high quality photo booth, cake bar, mini bar and glitter bar ready for you and your guests to get your sparkle on!
Meet the Suppliers
Great work everyone!
Episode 10: ‘ Insights into the Vegan and Cruelty Free Makeup Industry & Top Tips to Select the Right Bridal MUA for You’ - interview with Kelsey Gitsham
Kelsey will be clearing up many misconceptions around vegan and cruelty free makeup and what that means, both for the supply chain of products and for the consumer.
Episode 9: 'Create New Family Heirlooms through the Jewellery You Choose to Wear on Your Wedding Day' - interview with Sara Duchovnay
Sara is a professional opera singer who has managed to turn her obsession with fine antique jewellery into a profitable dual career. The two sides of her professional life work together in perfect harmony; while performing major roles with opera companies around the US and traveling alongside her opera singing husband,
- her passion for jewellery and how she got into the industry
- what to look out for if you want a vintage/ antique engagement ring
- what advice she would give to you brides out there that already know what kind of vintage/ antique engagement ring you want – and how to make sure your partner gets you the ring of your dreams!
- how to curate the perfect wedding day jewellery look
- how to give your bridesmaid/s gifts that they’ll love.
Episode 8: 5 Top Boho Wedding Trends to look out for in 2021-22 and How to Personalise your Day to make it Unique to You.
Episode 7: Sally Jackson on How to make Self Care your Priority and Take Control Despite the Stress of your 2020 Wedding Postponement.
I am spending some dedicated time today talking to the fabulous Sally Jackson - a Nurse, Nutrition Coach and Emotional Resilience Trainer, all about making self care your priority whilst working through your 2020 wedding postponement
Our hearts go out to you if you're one of the thousands of bride and grooms out there who have had to cancel one of the most important days of your life.
Dealing with Covid 19 is hard enough, but add in trying to adjust to how your dream wedding day has somehow become a source of sadness and disappointment is really tough. You're not alone if you're feeling stressed and down right gutted.
The planning of your wedding is a very emotional experience and hugely demanding in terms of planning a large event; even without Covid it can feel very overwhelming.
So often it means
- negotiating tight budgets,
- managing family members’ expectations and needs,
- dealing with often unexpected emotional reactions from both yourself and other people to certain details,
- family dynamics,
- tensions between you both and much more.
64% of weddings are expected to be postponed or cancelled this year due to coronavirus which equates to 79,200 UK couples will need to rearrange their honeymoons and 7.8 million wedding guests will need to change their travel plans (Bridebook).
With the average cost of a UK wedding being £20371 and only 28% of couples purchasing wedding insurance, 'bride and grooms to be’ across the nation will not only have had upset and unrest of dealing with COVID, they will have also had to deal with the massive task of rearranging, cancelling, managing refunds or rebooking of their wedding products and services.
Even without Covid 40-50% of bride and grooms find wedding planning extremely stressful so don't underestimate the impact this can have on your physical and mental health.
A lot on your shoulders to say the least!
So when I met Sally Jackson through The Boho Bride Guide Wedding Supplier Collective, I thought it would be great to hear her advice on how to priorities your own wellbeing through the tough job of rearranging your wedding day whilst maintaining a positive outlook!
Enjoy the episode! x
Podcast Episode 6: 7 Essential Pieces of Advice when Planning your Dream Wedding Cake - interview with Holly Miller
And that day just so happens to be probably one of the biggest celebrations you will be organising in your lifetime. Therefore, here at The Boho Bride Guide Podcast we thought it would be helpful to open the doors on the world of wedding cake design and share some useful tips and advice on where to start, from choosing your cake designer, to the ordering process, budgets, design and plans on the day of your wedding.
Join me and Holly as we lift the lid on planning your perfect wedding cake that is unique to you as a couple. x
One thing that will stay with you all the time however and be a constant reminder of your marriage, is your wedding jewellery. It’s certainly worth investing some time researching the right pieces for
you and also - they may end up being passed down through generations to come. Who knows - in the year 3000, your great-great-great-great granddaughter may be wearing your ring or necklace at her own wedding – it’s possible! (It would be interesting to see what nuptials will look like in a thousand years, but that’s another topic!)
The previous podcast guest is Julia Thompson from Julia Thompson Jewellery (Episode 3 of The Boho Bride Guide Podcast), makes the most stunning jewellery! While she has a huge variety in her work, particularly with her three main collections – Elegance, Impact and Wild – one symbol that runs through many of her beautiful rings,
necklaces and bracelets are a pairs of delicate magpies – “two for joy” – perfect for wedding jewellery. Secondly – the ethos of her business is to use ethically sourced materials, such as Fairtrade Gold, which offers her customers peace of mind as to where their jewellery first originated from – sometimes back to the actual miner themselves!
Now, I had seen the Fairtrade logo on coffee and chocolate at the supermarket but had no idea it applied to gold as well!
So what does Fairtrade mean?
Well the word “fair” means “reasonable”, “just”, “honest” and the word trade is synonymous with business, skill, swap but also means
“transact” and “deal”. Fairtrade essentially means an honest transaction! So the miner, and the recipient of the gold, both get an even deal – no one is exploited.
Fairtrade Gold is only sourced from mines which meet the Fairtrade Gold Standard – this includes stringent requirements regarding working conditions, safeguarding forests and water sources,
women’s rights and child labour to name a few. Workers received a guaranteed Fairtrade Minimum Price which benefits the miners themselves, and their communities, as they can invest back into
and see the process with her own eyes. If she wanted to meet the people who mine her sapphires for example, this would mean going to Sri Lanka where they are dug out of the ground. Importantly, she would only see adults digging as child labour is prohibited in Sri Lankan gem mining, and thankfully they would be able to tell her that they get paid regardless if they find stones or not.
As an aside - sapphires in fact, make a great alternative to diamonds if you are wanting something different! On the Mohs hardness scale, sapphires are ranked 9, only 1 less that diamonds, which make them very resistant to chipping, cracking or scratching – a very strong gemstone! And if you are thinking they only ever have a very dark blue, almost black appearance, this is indeed a common
assumption, but they can also be pink, green, yellow and white – in fact, the only colour a sapphire doesn’t come in is red! In an engagement ring, sapphire means faithfulness and sincerity!
You can also choose from quartz (a healing, positive stone), opal (associated with love and passion…) or beryl (promotes happiness and marital love!), and your wedding bands from Fairtrade 18 carat
gold or 9 carat rose gold – did you know that 9 carat is actually harder than 18 carat – and that the pinkiness is derived from adding copper to the mix?
Julia mostly uses handheld, traditional tools and craftsmanship skills that have been around for centuries – not only does she keep these practices alive by her own jewellery-making, but she also
teaches them as well! If you wanted to do something really different, Julia actually runs a one-day course where a couple can design and make their own rings! And not only do you have gold or silver to choose from, but you can also incorporate your own family heirloom pieces so that they live on through your own
Finally, whether you decide to make your rings, have a bespoke design, or choose from Julia’s many gorgeous items on her website, your jewellery will be presented to you in beautiful, sustainable
packaging to complete the circle.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Alice Acton, the Custodian and Events Manager at the magical Midelney Manor, a 16th Century Manor House, barn, gardens and woods.
Alice will be sharing with us her wealth of knowledge and experience in wedding planning and giving us her top tips and advice on how to plan and mitigate any issues that come arise due to our beautiful British weather.
Our Supplier Centric blog, dedicated to shining a spotlight on the many sensational wedding suppliers from across the UK that create 'boho inspired' wedding days.
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